Rain...

You know, sometimes in life it rains. Sometimes it snows, sometimes it hails, and sometimes it feels like it is doing all that at the same time. This very moment in my life, it feels like the latter.
As I watch the fresh fruit rott and the fresh vegetables rott, I am reminded daily about how there is constant change in life. Things are planted, they grow, they bloom, they bare fruit and then they die. Most of us hang on for dear life hoping to get every possible thing out of what we are given but sometimes we have to let go and watch as the thing we love so much dies. This is one of the hardest things in life to see happen but alas we all have free agency and life has to go on with or without us. Reminds me of a joke I have always told about the old witches hat at our old elementary school. The theme was to push, pump, or get off.
Life is so much like that. We all have to be willing to put in alot of work to either push or pump, or the ride will stop and we have to simply get off. As much as some of us want to stay on that ride and make it last for all eternity, others have places to go, people to see and other things they want to occupy their time so the ride stops and some get off.
After the darkest night, there is always a new day. We are blessed that Heavenly father always gives us a new day after one of those dark rainy nights. Each day is a new day to make different choices and make anew those things we chose to do wrong the days before. The blessings of the atonement have never been so apparent to me in my whole life as they are right now. We can't make other people do what we want them to do because that would be taking their free agency away from them and that was Satans plan, so we have to march to the beat of a new drum and find out where we fit into this new world that we have been handed.
Brent (my neighbor, who is also Joe's dad)is a wonderful man. He has done some stuff in his life that he regrets terribly. He was a shoulder to cry on yesterday in church by myself and a hand to hold for a minute since mine have been so empty for a week now. He came over and gave me a statement, that he says was his saving grace and what probably ultimately brought him back to this gospel.

Elder Orson F. Whitney said:
"The prophet Joseph Smith declared--and he never taught more comforting doctrine--that the eternal sealings of faithful parents (or a wife and family)and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the cause of truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the pentitent prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father's heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. pray for the careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God."

I just want to thank everyone for their prayers, their fasting, their thoughts and caring. I have felt it and am buoyed up by it each day as I rise and prepare myself for the new day.
I know my Savior lives. I know he knows me personally and has a plan for me and for my family. I know I have never walked this journey called life by myself and that I have to give him all the credit for making it this far. I have always thought the footprints poem was one of the most beautiful poems ever created and in no other time in my life have I felt so close to it as I do now.
Please don't stop praying, we can still use all the prayers that are being offered up on our behalf. Know that my family and I are so grateful for everything and know we are loved and thought of often. We love you all so much.